You know what’s even more fun than stressing about finals? Stressing about finals while being too sick to get out of bed.
Why yes, I am speaking from experience. Or rather, I’m typing from experience. Because my voice disappeared last Sunday as well.
Finals are over and done with now, I’m back at home, and have remembered I have a blog. Surprise! But finals week was terrible.
Saturday before finals I woke up, went to breakfast with my roommate, and was able to choke down a glass of orange juice. I went back to my room and slept until 5:00 p.m., when I woke up coughing and sneezing.
Pathetically, I begged my roommates to get me a glass of water.
“You can’t be sick!” my roommate, Mary said, as she covered her nose and mouth with her shirt. “I sure don’t want to be sick! If I get sick, I’m coming after YOU!”
I fell asleep at 8:00, after squinting at my biology textbook for a while without understanding a single word. My biology final was at 9:30 monday morning, and I didn’t understand anything on the study guide.
Sunday morning rolled around. After church, I went straight back to bed and sleep until 1:00, when I remembered I was supposed to meet a group to work on a project for my media class. After noticing the snowstorm that hit while I slept that morning, I put on five pairs of socks, my warmest sweatpants, two shirts, wound my scarf around my neck until I couldn’t breathe, grabbed my coat and boots and waddled pitifully out the door. When I got to the meeting, I couldn’t speak above a whisper.
The girl in my group sat faaaaarr away from me, but the guy just laughed.
“Haha, you probably have mono,” he said.
“WHAT?!” I croaked.
“My friend had mono, and he acted the same way you are. No voice, sleepy all the time, didn’t want to eat anything…. Yeah, you probably have mono.”
Well, that was reassuring.
When I waddled back to my room, I asked my nursing major roommate, Hannah, if I could possibly have mono.
Her eyes widened.
“You might,” she said. “And if you have mono, you’re not allowed to live here anymore.”
Nice to know my roommates have my back.
She forced me to go to the health center, which was closed on Sundays. I drove myself to the Urgent Care clinic instead, and filled out paperwork and talked to doctors by myself.
They swabbed my throat with an enormous q-tip that was made for a giraffe’s throat, and returned to my room 2 hours later to tell me that they were “90% sure I didn’t have mono.”
I wasn’t terribly reassured.
“So that means there’s a 10% chance I have it?” I asked.
“Well, yeah, but we’re pretty sure you don’t. You also don’t have strep.”
The doctor continued, “Yeah, I’m not actually sure what you have. Maybe you’re just stressed. But either way, you should go to WalGreen’s and get this prescription I’ll sign off for you.”
So off to WalGreen’s I went. I approached the counter, gave them my name and date of birth, and the pharmacist assured me it would be ready in 20 minutes.
20 minutes rolled by. Nothing.
20 more minutes rolled by.
20 more minutes passed. I went back up to the counter.
“Hi, I’ve been waiting for a prescription for about an hour, and I was wondering if you’d finished it yet.”
The pharmacist looked at me like she had just seen me for the first time. “You had a prescription?”
“Yes. You told me it would take 20 minutes.”
“Right. Sorry about that. Give me a few seconds.”
30 minutes later, I walked back up to the counter.
“Right!” the pharmacist said. “I have most of it finished, but we close in five minutes. I can try to finish it, but no promises.”
I looked around. I was the only person in the waiting area.
She managed to finish my prescription a minute before they closed, and I got back to my room around 6:30 p.m. I hadn’t studied for Biology. Hadn’t even looked at the book that day. I climbed in bed, took my medicine, and sat there with my book in my lap for 30 minutes before I couldn’t stay awake any longer. I texted my dad to let him know he may be getting a bill for the Urgent Care visit, and that I was freaking out about my Bio final I hadn’t studied for.
“Ask your professor if you can reschedule!” he shot back.
Frantically, I emailed my teacher, begging to take it a different day. I fell asleep at 7 p.m., with all the lights on in my room, and Hannah and Mary looking at me concernedly (more for their own health than mine) from a safe distance outside my range of coughing.
The next morning I woke up at 7:00, planning to get ready for my Biology final, when I saw an email from my professor telling me I could reschedule. I went back to bed, half in pajamas, half bundled up in my scarf and twelve layers.
Long story short, I survived finals week. Barely.
Heading home, I offered to drive my friend, Lauren, and one of her friends back to our hometown. Of course, we were driving in a snowstorm. 30 minutes outside campus, my car hit an icy patch on the highway. The car skidded right, then left, then gracefully turned and deposited us in a ditch to the right of the highway, facing the road.
After we landed, the girl in the back seat started screaming.
“I thought we were going to die!” she yelled. “What do we do now? We’re stranded! Stuck in the snow, probably!”
“We haven’t even tried to get out yet,” I said. “We’re all fine, we were never in danger of flipping, and I see some highway patrol officers coming our way now. We’re ok.”
“How do you know they’re highway patrol officers?! What if they’re gonna kill us?!” she yelled.
“They’re wearing neon vests and just walked out of a patrol vehicle. I think we’re ok.” I said.
The officers got us out of the ditch in less than 10 minutes, and the car was absolutely fine. Not even a scratch.
I’m pretty sure I won’t be asked for a ride by backseat panicker again anytime soon though.
Although if she had caught my sickness, her screaming wouldn’t be any louder than a whisper.
My roommate serenaded me to sleep last night. To the tune of Billy Joel’s classic, “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
“Emily’s going to bed!
“She’s gonna lay her pillow under her head!
“Her favorite color is purple, not red!
“When she wants toast she uses white bread!”
I told her not to quit her day job.